


Merc With A Mouth

by KimMinseokPhD



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, EXO (Band), Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Deadpool!Chanyeol, M/M, Park Chanyeol-centric, Someone stop me, Spideypool - Freeform, ridiculous fourth-wall breaks, spiderman!kyungsoo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-03
Updated: 2019-12-03
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:27:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21656752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KimMinseokPhD/pseuds/KimMinseokPhD
Summary: Someone's picking off members of Deadpool Corps, and Chanyeol's gonna stop them--no matter what.
Relationships: Do Kyungsoo | D.O/Park Chanyeol
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	Merc With A Mouth

**Author's Note:**

> since this is deadpool!chanyeol and spiderman!kyungsoo, their ages are closer together than in canon spideypool! Kyungsoo is in college and Chanyeol in his 20s~

On a dimly lit street in Brooklyn on top of a worn down building sits a man in a poorly constructed red suit, swinging his legs and humming slightly as he scans the street down below. Something catches his attention and his head perks up as he fixes his gaze upwards.

“Hey there!

“Yeah I’m talking to you, person reading this through an electronic device.

“My name is Deadpool, but my lovers call me Chanyeol. Well, my lovers and my mom but she’s, uh, dead. So…” He shrugs.

“ANYWAY. I’m on the hunt for someone that’s been hurting my friends.”

Chanyeol pulls out a faded drawing of five figures, of varying sizes and shapes, all dressed in red and black suits.

“Hey, narrator, I never said you could call me Chanyeol. Unless… wait did I sleep with you? It’s possible ‘cause I used to be in a rock band, once I finished my military service. Slept with loooots of people. Good times.” Chanyeol smiles to himself and gives a small sigh, staring off into the distance.

“Anyway,” he grips the picture tighter, “I need to find the fucker who messed with my friends and make him pay. And so now I’m here in Brooklyn chasing this guy down. I’m pretty sure I’ll get him, he’s shouldn’t be too hard to find… with his blue skin and all (some mutants just got it hard in terms of being able to blend in).

“I mean, I gotta wear the suit though ‘cause my face is too fucked up to just be able to walk down the street. Before ‘the incident’ I swear I was handsome enough to be in a kpop group or something. For more information on ‘the incident’ please watch Deadpool the movie. His origin story is basically the same. While you’re at it please watch the trailer for Deadpool 2 kthxbye. You can get it on DVD at most retailers.”

“Ryan Gosling is just so hands-” Chanyeol stops when he sees a figure round the corner. His hood is up, so he can’t make out a face, but his hands are visibly blue.

In a swift motion, Chanyeol drops down from the building, landing in front of the startled stranger. Slowly he gets up from the crouching position he had landed in, shoulders scrunched with anger.

“You.” He points a menacing finger. “You’ve been hunting my people down.”

The person takes a hesitant step back, but then quickly turns on his heel to run away.

“Hey! Not so fast.” Deadpool lurches forward to grab the person, but is sent hurtling back when a force hits him in the chest. A glance down shows it’s actually a giant sticky web, and it’s got his torso completely confined.

Chanyeol groans, throwing his head back. He’d been so close! Now some stupid goody-two-shoes hero is going to get in his way.

Low and behold, Spiderman comes swinging down.

“You know, there’s been reports of you harassing people recently, Deadpool.”

“Let me out, Kyungsoo.” Deadpool struggles against the web wrapped around him. “I could gnaw off my arm and go all _127 Hours_ but then I’d have to wait for it to grow back. I love tiny hand every once in a while, but honestly it’s only annoying after that initial day of yanking the chain, yanno?”

“Kyungsoo?" His voice cracks. "You must be mistaken. This is your friendly, neighborhood Spiderman.” Spiderman puts his hands on either side of his hips, striking a heroic pose.

“Cut the crap I know you’re Kyungsoo.”

Kyungsoo swallows thickly. “How… how do you know my identity?”

“It’s listed up above, in the tags for this fic… see?” Chanyeol juts his chin upwards, looking up. “Though I don’t know why this author is still using LiveJournal tagging styles… this is AO3 for god’s sake. LiveJournal has been defunct ever since the servers were transferred to Russia.”

Kyungsoo looks up, and sees nothing but the sky. “Uhh… ok. Well, you know, I know this great place, it’s for people who need help. I’m certain they’ll be very understanding of your…” Kyungsoo makes a vague hand gesture, “claims.”

“Hey I’m not crazy, I am just aware of the fact I’m a fictional character.” Chanyeol tilts his head to the side. “I mean I’m pretty sure Park Chanyeol is actually a singer in South Korea and has no idea that a fictional version of himself exists as Deadpool in a fanfiction. Plato was fuckin’ right. No one believes what happens outside of the cave.”

“Um.” Kyungsoo obviously looks uncomfortable. “But wait, your name is Chanyeol?”

“I only let my lovers (and my mom) call me that. So you know, you can call me that if we decided to do the freaky-freak later,” Chanyeol adds with a wink.

Kyungsoo shakes his head fervently and puts his hands up defensively. “No, gross.”

“Your loss.” Chanyeol shrugs. “Anyway, since you haven’t web-shooted your way out of here, I’m assuming that you’re going to help me find this motherfucker.”

“I’m not helping you with one of your hits, Deadpool. Killing people isn't really up my alley.”

“Hey, this is not just one of my hits. Someone has been attacking members of Deadpool Corps. Tips have lead me here. Actually I was _pretty sure_ that guy you let get away was him.”

Kyungsoo crosses his arms. “We’ll I’m _pretty sure_ Deadpool Corps has a lot of people who want to take you down. I mean… you are a group of mercenaries.”

“Hey,” Chanyeol responds, offended. “We only kill people who deserve it. Or, if the people pay a lot of money.”

“Whatever, Deadpool. I’ll let you go, but stop messing with people in this neighborhood. There are a lot of mutants who live around here and you’ve been making life difficult for them over the past couple of days.” Kyungsoo steps forward and begins to rip the web of Chanyeol.

“Have you ever thought of using this stuff for bondage and bdsm-ey shit? I bet this makes great for, like, hanging off the ceiling.”

Kyungsoo flusters, “What? No. I mean, yes, to hang off the ceiling, but bdsm? What the heck?”

Chanyeol shrugs, “To each their own, I don’t judge. Do let me know if you’d ever want to try it out.” He wags his eyebrows.

“Gross.” Kyungsoo tugs the last of the web off, setting Chanyeol free.

“Anyway, I’ve got to track that blue dude down now. Deuces!” Chanyeol throws up a peace sign and takes of running in the direction he’d seen the man head off to.

**Author's Note:**

> updates will come as I finish them! With Chanyeol finally getting a chance to meet Ryan Reynolds, I decided to try and finish it up! 
> 
> comments and kudos are always appreciated ^^
> 
> come say hi to me!! [twitter](https://twitter.com/kimminseokphd) or on [cc](https://curiouscat.me/kimminseokphd)


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